Saturday, October 23, 2010

When did I become an adult..

.. And when can I go back to the way things were???

I feel like I've finally, officially, irrevocably, impossibly, and (in many ways) retardedly become that adult that I would always pretend to be when I was playing "House" at the age of nine. I have an apartment, I live with my boyfriend, I have a roommate, I have more than 1 job, I cook for myself, and I finally get mail on a regular basis with my name printed on it in uppercase letters.

I went on a non-vacationy vacation.

After working and packing through the weekend, the bf and I got on a 16 hour greyhound up to Portland. What a terrible experience. As horrible as this sounds-- you really do see a lower class of people. Not to say that they're poor, but... not usually the type of people I find myself around. There were loud people sharing their life story for the entire bus to hear. "Thugs" playing rap music, and yelling at you about stepping on their feet. And people who looked like they were lost immegrants (there's no way to tell if they were). It was very strange. My knees hit the seat in front of me. I did not sleep.

Upon arrival in Portland, it was like an avalanche of activity. Luckily my dad fed us first.

The week was spend balancing out the time between my family and the boyfriend's family, trying to see friends that we really wanted to see, me getting work done for a deadline for Magik*Magik Orchestra (working on the computer whilst talking to my mom, or until 4am after a bachlorette party!), running around with my best friend trying to prepare for her wedding, the actual DAY of her wedding and being the maid of honor.... Man, that was a harder job than I expected!! And having to do this without a car of our own. Thank goodness my parents were so generous with their vehicles.

It very much was not a vacation.

Being home, but not being home with my family because I had work to do. Constantly worry about if I'm going to be able to pay rent. Wondering how I'm going to get to this certain place at a certain time without a car. Can the bride pick me up on the morning of the wedding? Does she need anything? Am I going to have time to see such-and-such-a-person? What time does my dad work? Will he be okay with me taking his car? Does Keenan's family still want me to come over on friday?

It was all very stressful. But something clicked.

I was happy to come home to San Francisco and continue MY life as I had left it. I feel like I have earned this place that I sleep in (even if we do have a leaky window and the occasional bug problem). I have earned my position at work and am valued there. And for the first time, I felt like Keenan wanted to be a part of this life that we created here. It's completely changed our dynamic and how we work.

Aka.... We're starting to do our finances together. GASP!!!

Now, I've never done this before with a boyfriend, but it's hard!! Taking the time to sit down and figure it out!? Man, who wants to do that? I'd rather make a stew!!

So I did. It included a butternut squash (which I've never cooked with it before), lentils, and various vegetables and spices. All made from complete scratch. It was a huge success.

Anyway... But on top of doing my finances with my significant other, I was thrown back into my retail job. We greyhounded back from Portland on Monday, arrived on Tuesday at NOON, and I was downtown working at Sur La Table by THREE PM. Not to mention that I closed for the first time on my own. I had trained the week before I left, but had never done it by myself. It was a bit worrying. I was reassured the day after that the books looked good. Whew!

Since getting back to San Francisco, I have worked every day and even took on a few more unexpected hours. Tomorrow (Sunday) will be my sixth day working in a row. I will then have two days off, and go back to work for 5 days. One of those days being my 23rd birthday.

So let's make a list here:
*Maid of honor in my best friends wedding and all the responsibilities that go along with that
*Financing with my partner
*Worry over rent and bills
*Going back to work after a working vacation and putting in long hours
*Working on my birthday
*Finding out that my loan repayment will start next month (Ohgodohgodohgodohgod)

Yeah. I feel like an adult. And a large part of me wants to put everything in storage and just move to Hawaii where my brother, his wife and my nieces live. Work a part time job at his restaurant, and live on the beach all day long. But at the same time, I think I've become an adult I can be proud of. I find myself taking pride in the the fact that I can handle these things. In the fact that I have a apartment with food and a warm bed to come home to after a long day at work. I feel like this is, in many ways, a successful life.

Too bad barely making it isn't enough. With my impending outstanding loan to pay back (both federal AND personal at alarming amounts), anything under the headliner of "FUN" is out of the question. So I find myself making up for my lack of away-from-the-apartment-experiences in the culinary arts.

It's hard to explain what happened the last few weeks in a short blog. But I wanted to update on my goings on before returning to my Favorite Customer of the Day rants. Although this whole blog REALLY is meant to talk about my experiences in life after college. I suppose that growing up would be a part of that.

But just incase you were disappointed in the lack of retail fun, here are some my latest Favorite Customer Experience of the Day:
1. A woman walking up to me and just staring at me and pointing at something. She's been in the store... I know english is her first language. Um. I'm pretty sure we learned to use our words at 2 years old.
2. A woman today came in and I literally had to ask her 15-20 times to repeat what she was saying. Turns out she was wondering if we were hiring and if she could have an application. Yeah, no way she's getting hired.
3. If you walk into a store and an associate happens to walk by you and say hello.... DO NOT GET DEFENSIVE!! I've had people wave their arms at me saying "I'm only browsing!" Excuse me, ma'am. I was Just. Saying. Hello.
4. We have these butane torches for creme brulee and whatnot. A gentleman asked me if I had any butane so that he could see how the torch worked and how large the flame was. I told him that I could not do that because once we do that, both the butane and the torch can no longer be sold. But in my head I'm thinking "NO I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU HAVE AN OPEN FLAME IN OUR STORE! DO YOU THINK I'M RETARDED??!!" What if he decided he didn't want it and put it back on the shelf without us knowing? What happens if someone else comes along and just turns it on? Cause people like to turn things on if they have an on/off switch. 98% of the time nothing happens, but we still do it!! I was proud of myself for being calm, but I really just wanted to stare at the guy, then walk off without saying anything. He might have taken that as being rude though...

Tomorrow is my Friday. My "weekend" will be spent singing and playing guitar with Keenan at the bus stations to earn extra cash, hopefully going to yoga, and hopefully a date on Tuesay for sushi as my bday dinner since I'm working Wed (that being the day of my birth).

I still have my neon sticky notes in my slowly deteriorating apron, and I'm writing down my favorite people just for your viewing pleasure. Stay tuned.



  1. Wow Brit! What a week! I like your blog. It's a lot to read but, amazingly ;) your rants are well written and flow pretty well. I wish you had some more time off to calm down. I have been feeling less like an adult lately. Cheers to you. I'm proud. When I have the cash I will fly to you!

  2. I find reading your blog very fun and amusing. I hope we didn't put too much additional pressure on you while you were here, but so wanted to get to know the lady my son was making a life with. And we did really enjoy our time with you. I do hope you can relax and enjoy singing this weekend and that you are blessed in more ways than one by it.